Further Swiftian Thoughts

NOTE: I tend to only post here when something or someone inspires me. That said, this is the first time I’ve ever posted about the same person twice…

Walking along the banks of an idyllic creek in Dean’s Village, a charming fairy tale enclave in Edinburgh’s West End, Taylor Swift’s luminous voice suddenly wafts through the leafy trees and stops me and my wife in our tracks.

The song is “All Too Well”—her 10-minute version—and as it builds to one of its heartfelt choruses, the roar of over 73,000 fans singing along with her follows in an echoing crescendo that practically ripples the water. 

The otherworldly moment seems especially fitting. When we booked our week and a half vacation to Scotland, my wife and I had no idea Taylor Swift would be launching her UK Eras Tour and playing Murrayfield Stadium in Edinburgh all three nights we were in town. Both of us had become ardent fans—me as recent as February—but had no plans to attend any of the shows. We’d already watched her three and a half hour concert film, and mining the Internet for tickets to stand in a packed crowd in cold wind and possible drizzle just wasn’t appealing to us.

Yet this turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Because it allowed us to experience the happy, infectious Swiftian culture that permeates every city she plays in, it felt like we did attend. Swifties of every size, shape, age, and gender were absolutely everywhere, many garbed in sparkly short skirts, tall white boots and homemade ensembles representing various phases in Taylor’s career. (An eleven-year-old boy with blue tinted hair wore a T-shirt that read I LOVE MY ERA.) 

At the airport in Boston where we had changed planes, a dad waited to board with his exuberant three daughters wearing a Travis Kelce Chiefs jersey. On the morning tram coming into town that snaked past the stadium, hundreds of fans were queued up in the wind and rain 12 hours before the concert to buy merchandise. Later, up and down Princes Street, where street vendors hawked pink cowboy hats and matching feathered boas for ten pounds apiece, concertgoers stuffed themselves onto special stadium-bound trams for hours.

The British press, with concerts in Liverpool, Cardiff and London to follow, were draped all over her like magical capes. Loch Tay in the Scottish Highlands was renamed Loch Tay Tay for the week. One of the couples that got engaged at the Friday show was seen posing for photos on the ramparts of Edinburgh Castle the next afternoon, where they mingled with Swifties from Italy and Spain in Eras Tour sweatshirts.

Best of all, we met wonderful fans sitting beside us at numerous restaurants. A mother in her 40s with two kids had been encouraged to fly there alone from Houston by her husband to see Taylor again because “she loves me. When she sings a song, it feels as if she loves me.” Amy and Alex, girlfriends in their 20s from London, had seen her the previous night and agreed it was one of the best experiences of their lives, astonished that over 70,000 people in the stadium “knew practically every word of each song .” Another young woman from Nashville we met on a street corner had shelled out $1,800 per ticket to see Taylor in the U.S., and was in town to see her again with her Welsh boyfriend at a fraction of the cost. Edinburgh is rich in art, history, food and drink, and remarkable in every way, and Swift’s nearby presence catapulted the city into an urban celebration. 

There’s a pretty simple reason why Swift is a global phenomenon, and her unfailing honesty, crack stage performances, and fetching looks are only a few of them. I pay zero attention to her monetary success and dating history; my obsession is with her music. She rarely repeats a line, makes lyrical use of every bridge, assembles little sonic stories that are easy to sing along with and never leave your head or heart, often beautifully building before ending with a sudden poof—an emotional mic drop.As that mother from Houston expressed so clearly, her songs have a way of personally connecting with the listener like no popular artist ever has—not even the Beatles.

With a cabal of evil forces threatening the world right now, the mass joy that Taylor Swift produces feels absolutely necessary. She is an empowering, inclusive role model for countless people, an undisputed force for all that is good. You’ll never catch me donning a furry cowboy hat or one of those Chiclet-style friendship bracelets, but I may have her music on my earbuds and in my car for quite some time.

After seeing my original 39-song “Taylist” swell to 73 songs with her just-released album and  added recommendations from friends, I’ve since pared that down to a new collection of 30 favorite tracks, an excellent starter set for those who have yet to indulge. May I now present…Taylor Swifter:

1. All Too Well 
—The 10-minute acoustic version is a work of art, this shorter, louder one is merely sensational.
And you call me up again 
Just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of being honest

2. State of Grace
—surprising propulsive rocker that proves she can also kick some hard ass 

3. Fearless

4. Cowboy Like Me
—gorgeous ballad with patented Swiftian imagery
Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon
With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con

5. Hey Stephen
—delicious, catchy gem I came across a few weeks ago. Seamlessly rhymes Stephen with “deceivin”, “feelin”, “leavin” and “fifty reasons”

6. But Daddy I Love Him
—dynamic rock track from her new album
God save the most judgmental creeps
Who say they want what’s best for me

Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies
I’ll never see

7. Anti-Hero

8. The Man
—superb female empowerment anthem and live showstopper

9. All You Had To Do Was Stay

10. Betty
(thanks for the tip, Lindsey R.)

11. Holy Ground
—another good rocker from her Red album

12. The Best Day

13. Invisible String

14. Clean

15. Paper Rings
—wonderful pop (thanks for the tip, Jason T.)

16. Right Where You Left Me
—sad and lovely, and best example of her knack for perfectly stringing lyrical ribbons together with music to channel the tune right through you

17. The Last Great American Dynasty

18. Karma

19. Forever and Always

20. Style
—a near-Madonna tribute

21. Lover
—sweet slow dance we also heard through those Dean’s Village trees

22. Today Was a Fairytale

23. ’Tis the Damn Season
(thanx again, Lindsey R.)

24. Long Live
(thanks for the tip, Debbie B.)

25. Cruel Summer
—Eras Tour opener that instantly hooks her audience

26. You Belong With Me

27. Starlight
—yet another great underrated rocker

28. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
—my second favorite, a funny, addictive breakup anthem best seen live

29. Getaway Car
—My favorite Swift song has everything: compelling story, tangible imagery, and killer lyrics all set to fabulous, driving music.
It was the best of time, the worst of crimes
I struck a match and blew your mind
We were ridin’, in a getaway car
There were sirens, in the beat of your heart

30. Marjorie
—A universal, deeply felt coda about loss of a loved one, the most hauntingly beautiful song I’ve ever heard

The Wonderful Walkabouts of Harmen Hoek

The Internet can be a maddening, toxic place at times, but there are plenty of safe, relaxing spaces on YouTube to escape to—or as I like to put it, floss your teeth to. The second post I made on this blog site nine years ago was about my addiction to the hypnotic, front-seat train ride videos of Europe, and I have since added the perfectly filmed plane rides of Skylite Productions to this floss-worthy festival.

Then a few months ago, I came across the extraordinary one-man, “silent hiking” videos of Harmen Hoek, and trust me, they blow away any short travel films you will ever watch. Hoek, a former physicist from the Netherlands, assembles beyond-gorgeous footage—often using staggering drone views—shot in numerous amazing places—the Himalayas, the Dolomites, the Balkans, the Pyrenees, the Wadi Rum Desert, the Grand Canyon, Yosemite backcountry, and even Iceland (where he camped by an active volcano). And that’s just for starters. Each video runs between 25 and 45 minutes and is put to soothing, unobtrusive music from a subscription service called Musicbed. Hoek’s camera shots are long enough to savor the natural beauty yet clipped enough to keep each journey fresh. Without one word of narration and plenty of natural sound, they seat you on a peaceful earth train and just pull you along.

When I ask him if he takes a camera operator with him on his hikes, Hoek says “Everything you see is recorded by me. No one has ever touched my camera during a hike.”  My only response to that is: Holy. Crap. Meaning in addition to having an incredible eye for nature’s beauty, Hoek is also a drone master; many shots float from thousands of feet up, his hiking figure just visible below on the trail.

Each video includes a few signature Hoek habits, like fondly patting direction signs he walks by, or making morning coffee and healthy meals over the same little gas burner. Everything is shot in pristine high-definition, and when you fill your computer screen, you really feel like you’re joining him on the hike.

Hoek tells me his personal favorite video so far is of the 21 days spent on the John Muir Trail (at an hour and eleven minutes, it’s his lone “epic”), due to his love for the Sierras, and he has plans to do some hiking this summer in Banff and elsewhere in the Pacific Northwest.  His work is truly an Internet gift; when life gets too crazy and stressful, Hoek is more than happy to immerse you in his Great Outdoors.

Harmen Hoek’s YouTube home can be found here

Gone With the Wiffle Wind

Feast your eyes on this photo of “Little Fenway” in the backyard of Pat and Beth O’Connor’s house in Essex, Vermont. If this place had been around in 1970, when me and my friends spent our summers playing Wiffle ball about three hours south near Springfield, MA, I may have journeyed north and never left.

The Porch Roof Classic is my 16-episode “podcast-novel” currently running on most podcast networks. It’s a nostalgic, PG-13 coming-of-age yarn geared for many ages, but especially for the guys in that photograph: longtime baseball fans who yearn for the days before steroids, social media, endless strikeouts and Rob Manfred.

My original intent was to lure an agent and publisher to get the novel out to the masses, but with the current book market—particularly for young adult fiction—heavily filled with female and “underrepresented voices”, it was going to be a long, brutal search. So then I thought: With our country in such a dark, dysfunctional place these days, why not do the novel first as a serialized fiction podcast, a quick and easy escape to the more innocent summer of 1970, when overnight camp, mosquitoes, the town bully, budding romance and Wiffle ball games were everything? Hell, I had some acting experience in high school and it would be fun to do all the voices. Plus building an audio audience for it might even help sell the book down the road.

A few listeners have asked me if some of the bigger events in the story actually happened. Some did, but many did not, and the characters, inspired by people from my past, are largely reworked creations. My aim was to capture the humid, languid days of a Western Massachusetts suburb in the year after Woodstock. The political and cultural climates may be entirely different now, but with narrator Joey Tosh recounting his summer, the dreams, laughs, and anxieties of being fourteen shine through as universal truths.

Hopefully you can give The Porch Roof Classic a listen. Beginning this week, new episodes will appear on Wednesdays and Fridays at the links below, and other places.

APPLE

SPOTIFY

GOOGLE PODCASTS

How I Became an Old Man Swiftie

I tend to never follow “popular music” and literally haven’t purchased a rock album since the days of Elvis Costello and Talking Heads. For years my tastes have slanted toward ethnic (African, Caribbean, Brazilian), electronic tango grooves (Gotan Project), or remixed swing. Occasionally a more current artist like Citizen Cope filters onto my phone, but a “pop” mega-star like Taylor Swift? I was about as interested in her as I was Kim Kardashian.

Then I started hearing from older guys who attended Swift concerts with their daughters. One after the other could not shut up about how joyous and transformative the experience was. I knew I wouldn’t have the patience to wrangle tickets or be able to secure the bank loan necessary to go to one of those concerts, so just for hoots went on the Google machine and found an article from late 2022 called “Taylor Swift’s 50 Best Songs, Ranked”.

Then I went on iTunes and listened to a sample of every one. Then I began buying some of them. Looked up at the end and saw I suddenly had a playlist of 39 Taylor Swift songs. Put the list on my phone, popped in my earbuds, and spent a recent afternoon listening to them all while waiting for the gas man to show up.

Good God almighty. I knew Swift was a global sensation, but was unprepared for how astonishingly good her music is. Aside from Taylor’s wonderful human attributes and incredible concerts (which I have since sampled on YouTube), her strong but angelic voice is mesmerizing, you can hear every word of her smart, passionate lyrics—and then there’s the actual music. Many of the tracks are just over three minutes, yet are structural works of art: starting slow and acoustic, building to powerful crescendos that perfectly complement the defiance and heartbreak she reveals. Many of the choruses remain in your head long after you hear them, and are so easy to sing along with it’s no mystery why stadiums of 65,000 people often belt out the verses in unison.

I know a select minority of sad Americans don’t want to hear this, but Taylor Swift is as big as the Beatles were and arguably as talented. The fact it’s hard to take your eyes off her is just an added bonus. 

For the record, here is the playlist I made that turned me into an old Swiftie. I ordered the tracks alphabetically, but you know what? I don’t think it matters.

1. All Too Well

2. All You Had to Do Was Stay

3. Anti-Hero

4. Back to December

5. Blank Space

6. Cardigan

7. Clean

8. Cowboy Like Me

9. Cruel Summer

10. False God

11. Fearless

12. Getaway Car

13. Gold Rush

14. Haunted

15. I Knew You WereTrouble

16. Illicit Affairs

17. Invisible String

18. Karma

19. The Last Great American Dynasty

20. Lavender Haze

21. Lover

22. Mad Woman

23. The Man

24. Marjorie

25. Mean

26. Mirrorball

27. Our Song

28. Out of the Woods

29. Peace

30. Right Where You left Me

31. Should’ve Said No

32. Style

33. Teardrops on My Guitar

34. This Is Me Trying

35. The 1

36. The Way I Loved You

37. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

38. You Belong With Me

39. You’re On Your Own, Kid

Still Crazy Good After All These Years

Walking with a good neighbor friend yesterday, he mentioned he had just seen the newly remastered version of the Talking Heads’ Stop Making Sense, which has been playing for a week at our local cinema on the 40th anniversary of the Pantages Theater concerts included in the film. I had just seen it myself—maybe the fourth time since its 1984 release—but it was my neighbor’s first plunge. He said he liked the movie, but found the final two songs “kind of relentless” and much preferred their earlier numbers in the show.

I love my neighbor, but he seemed to be missing the point.

Stop Making Sense isn’t “one of the best concert movies ever made”, as a recent profile of David Byrne on 60 Minutes proclaimed. It IS the best concert movie ever made, and nothing else has even come close. Woodstock? The Last Waltz? Those were dutifully documented depictions of great shows. Stop Making Sense is something else entirely: an impeccable assembly of music, lyrics, movement, cinematography, lighting and dramatic structure worthy of any classic film. And with Renaissance man David Byrne as your engaging, unpredictable, ever-innovative master of ceremonies, it remains a timeless work of art.

Similar to how a good fictional movie with a well-written story can effortlessly transport you somewhere for a couple of hours, Stop Making Sense does the very same thing. The film is credited as a directing collaboration between the late Jonathan Demme and Talking Heads, but I have to believe Demme was responsible for many of its cinematic joys. Starting with the minimalist opening shot of Byrne’s white shoes walking out to the stage where he clicks on a boom box rhythm to play “Psycho Killer” and we slowly pan up to reveal Byrne’s thin frame, focused eyes and unique, multi-range voice, everything that follows onscreen is by careful design.

Bassist Tina Weymouth then joins him for the lovely “Heaven” while crew members roll in a drum set in the background. Chris Frantz kicks those off with the rousing “Thank You For Sending Me an Angel” before fourth Head Jerry Harrison appears for ‘Found a Job” , which to me is when the movie propels into a second gear. The song is just a lighthearted story about a married TV comedy writing team, but for the final minute, the band launches into a Kraftwerky funk-jam, shot from the side with the band members moving back front and back in perfect rhythm, that never fails to make me delirious. Demme knows exactly where to place the camera in every moment for maximum visual and sonic impact; some of the best views are direct medium shots taken from mid-audience, where we see the entire band in their full visual presentation. 

From here things only get bigger and better. A full band including percussionist, keyboardist another guitar player and two wonderful backup singers joins the ensemble for “Slippery People” and an explosively good “Burning Down the House”. 

Every one of Byrne’s geeky dances, every change in his wardrobe takes the show into a new dimension, along with the lighting. “What a Day it Was” is shot almost entirely on Byrne with dramatic lamps below highlighting the veins in his scrawny neck. “This Must be the Place” is a comforting breather track, Byrne, Weymouth, and the two singers grouped around a stand-up lamp that the leader performs a short magical dance with. 

This is followed by the absolute show-stopper, “Once in a Lifetime”, a powerful mix of throbbing rhythm, profound words, and Byrne’s insanely passionate singing and otherworldly dancing—also lit from below. Demme keeps the camera solely on him except for one shot close to the end when the backup singers dramatically “rise up” in the background in a gorgeous composition.

In case this isn’t enough, there’s even a version of “Genius of Love” by the band’s “side group” the Tom-Tom Club, giving drummer Frantz, Weymouth and the singers a chance to strut their funky stuff. Byrne then returns in his signature Big Suit for “Girlfriend is Better” and the climactic jams of “Take Me to the River” and “Crosseyed and Painless”, featuring the only shots of the dancing Pantages crowd we see in the film. 

I’ve been a fan of the Talking Heads since the late 1970s, but listening to their albums is a quiet, private experience compared to the unforgettable power of watching Stop Making Sense. Jonathan Demme is sadly no longer with us, but his dynamic, genius collaboration with David Byrne is here forever for all of is to relish.

Lord of the Miniatures

It was the first time I’d spent more than one afternoon in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and I never imagined Alexander Girard would make it unforgettable.

Gone thirty years now, Girard was a well-known architect, interior, textile, and furniture designer after World War II. He grew up in Florence Italy before moving to New York and becoming director of design for Herman Miller’s textile division. He was also obsessed with collecting folk art miniatures from around the globe, and starting in 1939 and continuing through the 1980s and early 90s, Girard and his wife Susan amassed more than 106,000 of these pieces. 

In Santa Fe, where he spent his final years, an entire wing of their International Museum of Folk Art is filled with over 10,000 of Girard’s marvelous miniatures, and the painstakingly detailed worlds and layouts he created for them literally take your breath away, The hangar-sized wing, called Multiple Visions: A Common Bond is more entrancing and engaging than any exhibit I’ve ever seen. Blend a model railroader with a mad scientist and you get Alexander Girard. 

Each display in the room is given a number and a corresponding description in a guidebook you pick up at the entrance. Girard wanted no words on the walls so that the visitor could wander through the exhibit and relish in pure discovery. 

And there is so much to discover! From a baptism in a Mexican church with smaller villagers in the background cleverly placed behind larger ones in the foreground to create depth. To a 19th century American town with a dinner served to odd guests glimpsed through a window. To a Mexican religious carnival. To a farmer’s market and merchants on a river that seems to go for half a block. Girard’s fanciful craftsmanship is boundless; as wonderful as the rest of the Folk Art Museum is, with its exhibits of Alaskan Native coats and Japanese ghost and monster art, the “Miniatures Room” easily blows everything else away.

I have yet to see all seven other wonders of the world, but Number Eight is sure impressive, and is a must-immersion if you ever visit Santa Fe.

The Midsummer World Baseball Classic? Yes, Please!!

The Athletic website had a great piece this morning on how to “fix” the World Baseball Classic, and I wholeheartedly agree with it times ten.

Except the aim shouldn’t be to fix the Classic—which in my opinion is already great—but to fix Major League Baseball, which has sadly become a strikeout-plagued, rule-changed, unwatchable mess. What they propose is something astute baseball writers like Joe Sheehan have talked about for a while: swap out the boring, overhyped and irrelevant MLB All-Star Game every three years with the WBC in the middle of July. Work out the finances ahead of time to give MLB an extra cut in case a star player gets hurt—which WBC-haters mope about continuously—and watch the global baseball audience absolutely explode.

Rather than interfere with spring training and March Madness like it does now, the WBC would have its own stage for the short tournament, and the international exposure, if anything, would make Americans far more interested in the USA team, which this year has had some of the least enthusiastic crowds. 

Did you watch the best baseball game in years last night between Mexico and Japan? Neither team would give in, as Mexico went ahead on a three-run blast out of nowhere by Luis Urìas, before a ridiculous three-run blast on a real good inside pitch to Masatka Yashida tied things up. Randy Arozerena of Team Mexico robbed a home run and made a few other sparkling grabs, and that was all before Japan quickly erased a 5-4 deficit in the bottom of the 9th on a Munetaka Murakami double into the left-center gap with two aboard after Shiehei Ohtani began things with a different double.

Check out this Japanese radio call and tell me that no one is into this thing: 

The mobs attending the early rounds in Tokyo were insane, with cheerleaders on the dugouts leading sing-alongs throughout, and the crowds for the Spanish-speaking teams were all boisterous and more engaged than you would find at any American All-Star “classic” ever.

Enough already. Make the WBC a real global event by giving it the full July spotlight it needs. Unfortunately, because MLB can’t seem to do anything right anymore, I won’t be holding my breath.

Rediscovering Ronstadt

Yes, I watched Episode 3 of The Last Of Us (and paid for it by having “Long, Long Time” stuck in my head for well over a week), but my newfound infatuation for 76-year-old Linda Ronstadt was kindled by The Sound of My Voice, the superb HBO documentary about her that I finally got around to watching last month.

Directed by Jeffrey Friedman and Rob Epstein, it’s an inspirational portrait of a hugely talented singer and wonderful human, told entirely through the words of Ronstadt herself and a host of other musicians and industry people. I remember admiring Ronstadt at the time of her album releases and liking a number of her popular songs, but was completely unaware of her breadth of musical knowledge, of her Mexican family heritage, and of her ability to take any song in any genre and funnel it masterfully through her perfect and astonishing voice. She may have had an innocent, girl-next-door demeanor and worn a Cub Scout uniform onstage, but the power of her vocals, which could be either raucous, sexy, or painfully heartfelt at the drop of a note, was unmatched.

The documentary covers every step of her career, from the Stone Ponies at the Troubadour through multiple covers of Rolling Stone magazine. Ronstadt, like David Bowie and other restless artists, was compelled to go in entirely new directions, risking her core audience without hesitation. Time and again, her “experiments” proved wildly successful, like hiring Nelson Riddle to produce two albums of old standard torch songs, or playing the lead in the Pirates of Penzance opera on Broadway opposite Kevin Kline. She recorded an album of Mexican love songs her father used to sing to her and it became one of the biggest-selling Spanish albums in history. Hell, she even kicked ass singing “It’s In His Kiss” in an appearance on the Muppet Show!

Ronstadt, as we would sadly learn, inherited Parkinson’s Disease and lost her singing voice well over a decade ago, The final scene in The Sound of My Voice is both gentle and heartbreaking, as she attempts a Mexican ballad with her nephew and cousin in her living room, her hand shaking, her eyes and smile still luminous but her voice a weak facsimile of what she once had.

As soon as the documentary ended, I burned a Ronstadt playlist for my car, alternating the rock numbers with the ballads and country-swing tracks to create an hour and twenty-odd minutes of joy. (In my opinion, her versions of “Tracks of My Tears” and “Tumbling Dice” are better than the originals.) The thing I’ve finally learned is that you don’t just listen to Linda Ronstadt, you wear her songs like a warm coat you never want to take off.

Criminally Good

I have to admit I go out to the movies far less than I did pre-COVID, but I still watch my share of them on streaming networks, and nothing I’ve seen all year compares to the tight, harrowing L.A. thriller by John Patton Ford called Emily the Criminal. Currently on Netflix, it’s my favorite film of 2022.

Aubrey Plaza, famous for playing the snarky office girl in Parks and Recreation, a host of quirky independent features and her current role in season two of The White Lotus, has never been better, and carries the film with unflappable ease. Plaza stars as Emily Benetto, a well-intentioned but troubled L.A. woman trying to dig herself out of student debt by landing a decent paying job. and soon “breaks bad” in desperate, inevitable fashion. 

After an interview with a respectable company goes south due to a past DWI charge, Emily’s friend at the high-end food delivery company she works part-time for gives her a useful job lead: a way to make a “quick thousand dollars.” It turns out to be a fraudulent credit card scam operation out in the Valley, which she is reluctant to join but finally agrees to dip her foot into. Emily has a taste for the dangerous, and every deeper dive she takes making “purchases” for her contact Youcef (Theo Rossi) brings her more cash, a fleeting relationship, and life-altering stress that finally comes to a head.

At a mere hour and 36 minutes, Emily the Criminal doesn’t waste one scene or frame of film on talky character development; all we see are Emily’s actions, reactions, and then more actions. We get everything we need to know about her feelings through Plaza’s engaging poker face and fearless expressions. Ford is both writer and director, and his neo-documentary style, masterful efficiency, and cohesiveness is evident from the first scene to the last. Using virtually no music, he creates a palpable tension in scene after scene as we experience what Emily is going through. The movie also has one of the best explorations of the sinister scam world now plaguing us more than ever, (at least the best since the incredible Adam Sandler/Philip Seymour Hoffman telephone battle in the underrated Punch Drunk Love). 

Plaza’s patented dry sarcasm is pleasantly muted in Emily the Criminal, and for once she has an opportunity to just plain act. I watched this movie four days ago, and it may be years before it’s out of my head.

Thoughts on Baseball Delirium Day

I woke up sometime between 3 and 4 a.m. this morning with baseball clogged in my head. I suppose it could have been due to the four playoff games I overdosed on yesterday, split-screening two of them at once a few times and occasionally hopping to a third game on a third channel, like an archaeologist running between multiple digs at Karnak. And it wasn’t just because the games were thrilling—one of them was a rout and another an unbearable, impotent slog—but it was because the results were purely stupefying.

This is the first season MLB voted to include a dozen teams in the postseason playoff tournament. Like nearly everything they do these days, it was a choice motivated by greed. The league has a vast array of problems, starting with hitters being incapable of making contact (see Houston vs. Seattle, 18 innings), the insertion of fan gambling into the broadcasts and ballparks, horrific ball-and-strike umpiring because the on-screen technology is so advanced it now repeatedly makes them look foolish, and idiotic TV blackout rules that keep baseball fans I know in Iowa from watching games for at least three teams in neighboring states. 

I had to flip away from the Astros-Mariners marathon in Seattle about five times, because watching the home batters crush the hopes of their loyal, glory-starved fans was just too painful. Most of today’s hitters, largely obsessed with launch angles and pimping home runs for the nightly highlight shows, have lost the ability or desire to do anything else but swing for the fences. Over and over again, as the game dragged into endless extra innings, the Mariner batters flailed away at pitch after pitch purposely thrown out of the strike zone by a parade of Astro relievers, when all they had to do was shorten up on the bat and try and go with the pitch for an actual single with the winning run standing out at second or third base. When Houston finally won the game with a solo homer by a rookie in the 18th, I was immersed in another game, and happy that I was.

The bigger takeaway from yesterday was that with two more playoff teams added to each league mix, and the 162-game regular season made more meaningless than ever, MLB has unwittingly created Wild Card Monsters. Three of the four lower-seeded teams were forced to play all three of their wild card games on the road, and what it did was focus the crap out of them, enabling the Phillies, Padres, and Mariners to pull off surprising sweeps of the Cardinals, Mets, and Blue Jays. Now the Phillies and Padres have gone on to unseat the Braves, winners of 101 games, and the Dodgers, winners of 111 in the division series, with the Cleveland Guardians on the verge of another possible upset against the 99-victory Yankees. Shocking turn-of-events do make for great drama, and we’ve had that in spades this weekend.

But I disagree with the great Joe Posnanski, who wrote that in creating chaos, the new playoff system “has worked precisely as it was designed.” Are you serious? The system, with its built-in byes for the four best teams, was designed solely to put the Yankees and Dodgers in the World Series for maximum TV ratings. The last thing FOX wants is a Guardians-Padres Fall Classic where they can’t feature Aaron Judge in every promo ad. Did you notice that when Judge was chasing the American League home run record, the MLB Network showed an entire Yankee game every night for a week and a half? They could have just cut in from a different, more relevant game or their studio programming whenever Judge came up to bat, but nope. THE ENTIRE GAME was aired. Would they have shown entire Twins games for a week and a half if he was playing in Minnesota? Doubtful.

Anyway, the Phillies and Padres’ rabid fan bases became energized by this format like they never have before, the players on those teams were fueled to victory by them, and it’s likely to make the National League Championship Series a loud, memorable event. I can’t wait. Some have said the five-day layoff for the top-seeded teams worked against them in the division series round, but I disagree. It was the new playoff system kick-starting the underdog clubs into high gear. The Dodgers, who won the NL West by 22 games, didn’t have to play one crucial must-win series all season and were certainly not prepared to face the pressure of a delirious road crowd in San Diego the last two days. 

No, MLB did not get what they bargained for at all, but fans of the “smaller market” teams sure as hell have.